Note to myself (and all women)
Paciência.
Paz. Ciência. Paciência. These were the words of a mestra, a word literally translated to female master, in the hierarchy of Capoeira Angola. Her words were in response to a question I posted on an all female panel discussion that she was featured in for International Women’s Day. I was asking the question that had been rolling through my mind for some time now, a question that I myself had been struggling with:
“How do you, as a mestra, navigate the world of [Capoeira],becoming a female leader in a male dominated space? How have you dealt with toxic masculinity while rising to the top?”
Her answer struck me to the core. Patience. Peace. Science. Words that suddenly unraveled all the had been pervading my thoughts. How do I, as a woman, as a young, black, woman in my early career, traverse and make my name in a world of mansplainers who are ubiquitous, hegemonic and quite frankly in the way? Her words helped me answer my question.
- Patience
Patience with myself as I grow and forgive the woman I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago and even yesterday, for striving to submit to a world that is designed against my prosperity. A woman who is learning to love herself everyday in a world that is designed to make her question her worth. A woman who cannot decide the fate of her womb in a world that was birthed by the mothers of her mother. A woman who has to fight for her right to speak for herself in a world that barely pretends to listen. A woman who has fought many battles on an uneven field, to come in second every time.
Patience with yourself, love. Patience enough to forgive yourself for bearing crosses that were never yours to bear; and then patience again to fall in love irrevocably and unreservedly with the woman that you are, every day.
2. Peace
I’ve found peace consistently in recognizing that any singular person’s perception of me is only their reality, and will never actualize my experience on this earth. There is a great reverence in knowing that no one can ever see life through your eyes as a woman, and that is why no one can ever speak on your worth or your purpose.
No one is you and that is your power, girl.
As women we too often fall prey to projections of patriarchy of who and what we should be, and subconsciously project that toxic masculinity onto each other. I am of the belief that nothing in this world that is meant for you will miss you. And no amount of mansplaining will ever remove you from your power, girl. Knowing that is all the peace you will ever need.
3. Science
The balancing act. The intricate science of being soft, while assertive. The fine line between being delicate flowers made for laying and eating fruit all day, and the strong, resilient fearless leaders that somehow we owe the world to be. The act of being both or neither or whatever the fuck we want to be because that’s our business.
Walk the line, and walk it with confidence.
To the soft, the strong, the daring, the leader, the loud, the quiet, the misrepresented, the underrepresented, the charming, the shy, the unheard, the andro, the femme, the diva, the tomboy, the soft spoken,
I’m just here to remind you to continue to do whatever the fuck you were doing, and do it proudly. You are a masterpiece, and a work of art in progress at the same time.
Paciência minhas amores,
Paciência com nós mesmas.
